Name-Brand Cola

My irises spread wide

Screams of "Encore!" & "Bravo"
Lighters held high

Into a microphone I beckon- "let's fuckin' go, are you ready, Tokyo?"

Blood vessels in eyes
Shatter, like
Bricks ripping through
A church's Last
Temptation of Christ
Stainglass windowpane

Signals in nervous system collide
From clear-cut lines

Spectrum shifting hard,
as I'm rearranging shards,
turning colors; kaleidescopes
nuclear bombs explode,
Praising the sky
With white lies like a psalm

Let me tell you, bloke-
First time I tried blow
was '99- in Iowa
after a Titus Center show

Snorted clear off a mirror,
through rolled up
pages torn from
Gideon's bible in
some groupie's
Old immobile
motor home

Spotlight ignited
a lit sea
of faces, a trite
five hours ago

Now impossibly
trying to cope
with eighteen hour
withdrawal,
weening me off slow
They use methodone

It goes like this- climb
highest peak,
take the fall
Rock bottom comes
much realer than
wrestling holds

Austin never
knew a stone cold
stunner like
losing your record deal, vocal talent,
Fans, wife and children
all in one summer

12 steps, 10 phases- fuck I just miss marquee stages

dust yourself off
and try again?
Except this white horse
kicking habit
has me feeling
quite the sadist

They say I should
Just stay until I
no longer feel shakes,
chestquakes and pupils
don't diolate
because I'm not
invincible, haven't felt
This helpless since
The first grade

Once the hunger pangs
subside- you realize
all the sick shit you did
Just for two quick-sniffs,
start inhaling daughter's
pixie stix
snatched from a
Lunchbox on her way
To kindergarten

I jerked off a man
In Tampa to
Get my hands on
Colombian Bam-Bam
Bought a gram from
Pawning my
Wedding band and
The groom's suit too

Sold my son's
Bronze baby shoes
Just so I could
Get zooted
Lifted a Disney princess
TV- it shouting obscenities
at me like we were
watching 'Blue's Clues'

Once they label you
An addict- it usually sticks,
no quick fix
for split marriages,
lost custody
of both kids

Malcolm sees me on the
playground, embarassed
He ducks down
Having a junkie papa
Not something any teen
Would brag about
Sabrina'd spit in my face
Soon as I neared the place
If I returned, 'cause I
Disgraced my own house

Mortgaged my white
picket fence, for a white
mountain's sled
to leaked nasal passages
All this from bumps
of name-brand
Soda, let's call this
'Coca-Cola, ENJOY!'

Almost Hendrix'd,
Kurt Cobained my
Way to an early grave
Now my best friend's
a syringe, biggest
concern of the day
Is where I can snatch
A sterling silver chain
So I could buy
myself an eighth

This is what happens
when you trade
Art for addiction
sacrifice real life
For vices, lost my
convictions- made
my decision
Detached commitment
Lost love, fame
Family, my mind
faith, religion
concept of time
All of this snowballed
from when
I sniffed my
first line.


(c) Paul LaTorre 2010