Monday, June 7, 2010

Golden Ticket

When did heaven become...like some grand lottery?
Something only the most righteous, pious and blemish-free fortunate souls deserve as an ultimate home?

When did having faith and an imagination for something greater, require entry in a sweepstakes akin to getting into Wonka's Chocolate Factory?




Heaven will
never be
what you expect
it to be

Heaven can
only be
what we conceive
in our dreams

What we perceive
deep in a translucent
transcendental, luminescent
ever-present and
element-sent sleep-
yet if 1 in 3 don't believe
in God, Jesus or
some sheperd of
lost sheep, no Allah,
Jehovah, Shivah nor
really any deity
how can they
ever achieve
true amity?

Doubters would plead:
the afterlife's just an
elaborately crafted
church-conjured, and
fear inducing scheme
forcing the masses
to attend mass & service,
and confess to a priest,
pay them offerings, or be
the ones wielding the power
in God-fearing pagan
communities...

But can't you see-
It takes not the rifle or knife to
make a wise man leak,
all you need is signs for
a blood drive, to make
his heart unleash tides
unto the crimson donor sea,
he is living charity
think again, we don't
need temples, religion
or overseeing Papacy
to reach the palace
of immortal kings

En la Cidade de Deus
do we reach Nirvana
reincarnate in form of
some DHARMA shark
or a mystic chakra
to deliver us from
harfmul karma

it's not reliant on some
pious or compliant
divine philosophy
it exists in
you and me

that other realm
we tapped into
before this earth below
befouled and tainted
our sacred, pristine
innocent infant feet

we came from it,
it came before us-
so someday, we must
return the deed,
just as mature trees
create, sprout, spread and
disperse seeds
we'll ride the wind
just the same as them
when we inevitably
leave

When you no longer breathe,
does it mean you're deceased?
Or simply living without boundary
land, law, or bodily;
omnisicient floating harmony

No sacred chapels
up in sky, no gold-lined
sidewalks for you to sweep
or harp-plucking, winged
cherubic baby angels
to welcome you to
Galilee

It doesn't need to be
about idyls you don't
kneel before
or the prophet you can't see
all heaven can ever be
is the completion you seek

Is there some
courtroom
for judgment day,
a list with all those who
sinned past point of
repentance or covenance
a judge's chair with
a sandaled glowing man
but you never feel his
hand or see his face?
Is this the place?

Heaven is not the seat
where 'they' judge 'we'
or the strong imprison
the meek, throwing you
to fire and brimstone
condeming all for
long-ago atrocities-
no "lock them up in hell,
throw away the key"
It's more like a
'get out of jail free'
a ticket to resurface clean,
once submerged in a
turbulent sea, and left
their Earthly body back
awash on the beach.

Is there a place for a
civil agreement or treaty,
where good and evil are
not met with enmity
absolutely no war
or displaced animosity
erase sense of race, class,
we start from scratch
embracing differences
each dispute is machine-gun
pelted with pellets of
peace- all hate
would cease, communicate
through translations of
any language, everyone
speaks one universal code
eased by knowing here
we're all home

So says the Nicene Creed:
"We look for the resurrection
of the dead, and the life
of the world to come"
so if we dream of pitch
black stars in light, would
the conga-beat of drums
surpass the moon's fall on
the path of lunar greatness,
surely not- so don't race
the fate of the grave, we're
all assured its touch someday
just rest assured, that once
it comes- we make our own
way into this terrestrial
forever soaring safe-gate

It's where playlists of all
our favorite songs
reside on repeat
best meal we'd ever
hope to feast, is everyday eats
and our most unattainable
goal is the one we tackle
because the fear of failing
died with our pulse-
and no gravity could ever
knock us off our feet.

Where my mother will
run at full speed, her amber
hair a red torch behind her,
barreling into me with small arms
rapturing giant hugs-
the kind I've been missing
most of my life,
I lift her up, giving at least
202 sequential kisses on the cheek,
she introduces me
to her first love
although before, we did meet
in life before this-
we barely had the
chance to speak

She'll catch me up on what
she's reading, some favorite
places to eat, the best bars
clubs and all the concert halls-
"Maybe we'll see us a show
or two, later this week..."
Grab a pizza, sit together,
watch whatever's on TV- just
laugh & bullshit as she recalls
memories, bragging as she shows
me her John Lennon auto-graphed
Beatles' vinyl copy 'Let it Be'
then, finally I'll watch triumphantly
she swims with her Dolphins-
sunrise beneath; yet here,
no moment ends, unless
we want it to cease...

this is heaven to me.

Is it across the Universe
or beyond the stars we've searched
is it logical or beyond our compass
astronomical atlas
is it humanly possible
to conceive how inter-channel
spirit travel works?

Paradise is not some high-blown,
far off kingdom we can never reach,
only if we here on Earth were to have
lived life perfectly

for we all sin,
we all falter
we all bleed
we all need reason to believe

that
Heaven
is a place
that we
can all dream.



(c) Paul LaTorre 2010

Name-Brand Cola

My irises spread wide

Screams of "Encore!" & "Bravo"
Lighters held high

Into a microphone I beckon- "let's fuckin' go, are you ready, Tokyo?"

Blood vessels in eyes
Shatter, like
Bricks ripping through
A church's Last
Temptation of Christ
Stainglass windowpane

Signals in nervous system collide
From clear-cut lines

Spectrum shifting hard,
as I'm rearranging shards,
turning colors; kaleidescopes
nuclear bombs explode,
Praising the sky
With white lies like a psalm

Let me tell you, bloke-
First time I tried blow
was '99- in Iowa
after a Titus Center show

Snorted clear off a mirror,
through rolled up
pages torn from
Gideon's bible in
some groupie's
Old immobile
motor home

Spotlight ignited
a lit sea
of faces, a trite
five hours ago

Now impossibly
trying to cope
with eighteen hour
withdrawal,
weening me off slow
They use methodone

It goes like this- climb
highest peak,
take the fall
Rock bottom comes
much realer than
wrestling holds

Austin never
knew a stone cold
stunner like
losing your record deal, vocal talent,
Fans, wife and children
all in one summer

12 steps, 10 phases- fuck I just miss marquee stages

dust yourself off
and try again?
Except this white horse
kicking habit
has me feeling
quite the sadist

They say I should
Just stay until I
no longer feel shakes,
chestquakes and pupils
don't diolate
because I'm not
invincible, haven't felt
This helpless since
The first grade

Once the hunger pangs
subside- you realize
all the sick shit you did
Just for two quick-sniffs,
start inhaling daughter's
pixie stix
snatched from a
Lunchbox on her way
To kindergarten

I jerked off a man
In Tampa to
Get my hands on
Colombian Bam-Bam
Bought a gram from
Pawning my
Wedding band and
The groom's suit too

Sold my son's
Bronze baby shoes
Just so I could
Get zooted
Lifted a Disney princess
TV- it shouting obscenities
at me like we were
watching 'Blue's Clues'

Once they label you
An addict- it usually sticks,
no quick fix
for split marriages,
lost custody
of both kids

Malcolm sees me on the
playground, embarassed
He ducks down
Having a junkie papa
Not something any teen
Would brag about
Sabrina'd spit in my face
Soon as I neared the place
If I returned, 'cause I
Disgraced my own house

Mortgaged my white
picket fence, for a white
mountain's sled
to leaked nasal passages
All this from bumps
of name-brand
Soda, let's call this
'Coca-Cola, ENJOY!'

Almost Hendrix'd,
Kurt Cobained my
Way to an early grave
Now my best friend's
a syringe, biggest
concern of the day
Is where I can snatch
A sterling silver chain
So I could buy
myself an eighth

This is what happens
when you trade
Art for addiction
sacrifice real life
For vices, lost my
convictions- made
my decision
Detached commitment
Lost love, fame
Family, my mind
faith, religion
concept of time
All of this snowballed
from when
I sniffed my
first line.


(c) Paul LaTorre 2010

Family

Drop

Drop

Drops

Filter puddles
to an IV Drip sea

The EKG
pumps,
whipping backlash
a led sledgehammer
hits the lever,
ricocheting up a scale
to a Carnival bell
win us a stuffed animal

So this is what it's like
to fly above your
own body, watching
everyone gather
around your hospital
bed, faintly sobbing

Water, water everywhere
but teardrops you
don't drink
the salt will dry
your insides, and pain
would only increase

Lockeisms of religion
"Can I tell you a secret?"
You and I play a game
of Checkers,
black and white sides
& all these human
lives are our pieces.

Waiting for some
rescue crew to release me
from what feels like
prostheses- limbs which
don't swim when thrown
in the deep end

Drown,
float,
drown- don't
resist sinking now

Convulse sweetly
here beside me,
lock your wrist into mine
feel my divinely
running river as it crosses
the Rhine
valley of blood's
stream, on a life-raft
amassed from flotation
device urinal pans
which were last resort
ghetto innovation designed

Who walks the tight
pulse-line between
'to die' and tomorrow
Doctor or Desperado?
which one writes
the deceased list
who grades thesis if all
life time is borrowed?

Tremor
tremble
tremor

hold onto your strength
"come back to us all, my lovely
family wants you
here at your best..."

send 'get-well-soon' balloons
high up to a
golden moon, tell
heaven give us a rain check
we're not ready
just yet
to send amassed roses
on soil to bed
I digress, it's too soon

thump-
thadump
thump,
lungs bring fast burst
a last flee

If you love me,
don't fan the flames- they
only spread, and can
scald your skin worse
catching lightning
in a bottle, almost
never ever works
it may burn, but you
must learn to
let go

falling apart
helps you see,
the ones who are willing to
grit teeth,
lose sleep,
give up their own spleen,
claw, scratch, clasp, bleed,
and never accept
defeat to
keep you whole.



(c) Paul LaTorre 2010

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

How to Survive a Scorpion Bite

Are you the type
of statistic
they mark with
an asterisk?

You know, the kind
of feat accounted for
but not acknowledged
as one who actually
lived?

Are you the critic
who judges movies when
you've only truly seen
half of it...

Type of person to
yell at a kid
when learning to read
but just hasn't seemed
to grasp the syntax
of syllables yet

force-feeding brilliance
children admonished for
shortcomings when they've
not discovered
what on Earth
is and is not
worth becoming


Are you the kind
of sub-human
to incessantly update
twitter or FB

statuses so neurotically
they send followers
into panics of cosmology
whirls of useless info;
shit noone but the author
themself could care to
hear repeatedly,
a self-obsessed
a-hole anomaly?


Make decisions so
wrong, and since noone
seen it, right? You can
wipe the scene clean
erase the happening
pretend it was some guy
No, not you, psshaw- no hay.

"Have you ever danced
with the Devil by the pale
moonlight?"
if Jack Nicholson asks this,
in a Gotham museum-
Prince boombox blaring
on sight- you should clutch
a gas mask, take winged cover
shit, run for your life!

Jokers don't travel far,
claims the thief in the night
but I crawl along the desert,
quite smooth.


A scorpion's known
to strike
only when it feels threat
you hope to resume
living, when arachnid-cornered
in dunes

If you cheat, steal, lie,
you'll see deeds
recyclically fly
back in your eyes
the kharmic payback
smack-dabbed in
your fucking face
twice.


Predators with venom
sting
quick-stab of the tibia
humans can't flee
when Metasoma hits
artery- it's curtains
spelling certain doom
neurotoxins occupy your
body like a womb

Since the time of
Babylonia, we coexisted
and they know if they
could just gain your trust
tactful arachnids
spin no webs
unless you let them
into your home, as such
they can wait long enough,
claiming shelter-
though rock hard
exoskeleton,
still soft...
somewhere past the
glands,
clawed manus
and poison
tip, somewhere still
misread- no 'aim-to-maim'
or Zodiac villain
just a small, wrongly
depicted as monstrous killer
he's just a little
creature with a
lonely heart.




(c) Paul LaTorre 2010

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Fusion

Can I envelop
myself
in your sweat?
Wrap Taina
thighs & legs
lovingly 'round my neck
like a Dixon
Ticonderoga's wood
to #2 pencil lead?

Can I unravel,
promise to trace hips
Downy-commercial gently,
not even
Snuggle finds skin-soft
linen to compare-
yes, alluring a trapped
snare forcibly grabbing at,
wrecklessly rapturing
firm tressels of
dark oak the grapevines
which I entangle my
fingers, called
your hair

Even Berenstein bears
would have
cornered Goldilocks
had she possessed your
magnetic, intoxicatingly
hell-risen
temptress' stare.

Can you please, take this
left hand...now place
it on your chest-
not breast, but what
beats past ribcage, that
chapel of vital
ventricles keeping me in
duress- yet not by force
these chambers
hold me, cardiac
captive by the organ
which knows
me best

Inspiring me, inside
of you
constellations align
just us two
So how do we feel about
you & I
becoming one
tonight?






(c) Paul LaTorre 2010

Chasing the American Dream

"Why do my eyes hurt?"


"You've never used them before..."

(The Matrix-1999)





It is the single
oldest
thing, not in
this universe--
but in modern
civilization

Not LOVE,
not WAR
this is God
in our capitalist centric
indentured servant
worker-based
pod-slave, complacent
Nacirema nation

We seek out the green
backs, dead faces portraying
leaders- here & past
Andy Jackson, Queen
Liz'beth, Ben Franks,
and Trujillo's
smiles gleam from
nicotine-patch needled
addictive G-stacks.

Root of all
lethal acts,
Evil hatched from
the pursuit of supposed
Happiness
yet lead you down
the lonely path
of emptiness
we crave-night, day
with a crackhead-scratch
we itch

leaving us searching for
Zion
in tight designer jeans
only praying for a
new Beam-W,
or 52-inch flat-plasma
TV screen
these etherial, superficial
things, invaluable-
materialism is the
crying creed for which
why we die, to raise
the dead sea.

Pursuant of the
virtual, nothing
of real certitude
like family, legacy
any greater dream-
MLK rings through
am I tripping, or does
this sound absurd to you too?

Aim for the 'finer things'
yet none worth having
in actuality
there's no comforting
thoughts, which can be
bought
when the brain
atrophies


Once
more
down
the
rabbit hole
we keep chasing
gnosis
or illusion
the differentiating
decision is
yours for
the choosing

is it escapism
or harm, some alarming
example for youths
in programs which we view, do
you control- advertisements,
computers, palm-held devices
or do remotes control
you?

(Whoa, Déjà Vu)

Red Pill:

Swallow reality
skin-trembling injection,
booster shot of absolute
truth
which we resist facing
at all costs, yet no
ascribed medication
can replace holes in
a soul gaping

Blue Pill:

Amist a cloudy, falsified
paradise
we remain mirage-induced
by own fantasy
mescaline high of
denial, alive in
a hologram, we hang
blind- from a
dissolving noose,
hollow caracass
in Gucci shoes

we are all afraid of
what don't come easy--
a life lived in lie isn't
worth living in the least,
see, when numb- cerebrum
loses feeling, unless
your mind don't mind
finding ladders to climb
toward Sistine
ceilings, collapsing insight
before Michael-
angelo paints himself
a single angel's jawline.

Simulated plush, luscious,
rich, brush-stroke
Skies
absent of clouds,
no rain in drought
can shelter birds,
heaven, sun or air,
with demon-stars above
an unnatural disaster,
no miraculous beauty
could ever survive

Build not your temple
of sand, but mud-
a red permanent clay
concrete which won't leak
from money-lust existant
on Earth to speak
leaves none spinning;
auburn autumnal leaves
or grows impure pits
into peach trees

invest in knowledge, love,
encourage success-
which can't be
stressed or measured
in funds
and someday you
may detach tubes,
and become the One
to unplug.

Perhaps it's all come
just a glitch too late
the body dies when inside
without mind to dictate
and it's hard to digest
a harsh truth, when fed
too soon, going against all
we ever knew-
All one can do is
show you the door,
it's up to you
to walk through.







"Ignorance is not bliss; it is consented idiocy"



-myself





(c) Paul LaTorre 2010